“It’s not the goodbye that hurts: it’s the flashbacks that follow.”
Hi lovelies! Just a little warning ~ this may be a bit long but interesting post… who knows??
Yesterday (I say yesterday because that’s when I stared writing this. We broke up on the 25th to be clear) we broke up from school for Summer holidays and as some of you may know, I am in year 6 going into year 7 so that meant leaving my primary school friends behind for high school. And I am going to a different high school from everyone. Some may say that that might have been the hardest thing to do in my life (at my age) but TBH, it wasn’t tooooo difficult ~ sorry if that sounds a bit mean. I also found out yesterday that I am not too great with public goodbyes so that was a plus! SMH
~ just in case you’d like to know, I am writing this in a library so that is one thing crossed off my summer list (writing a blog post in a public place), if I even put it on my list… ~
This post isn’t about the fact that most of us were crying our hearts out and then I was one of the only ones not shedding a single tear *smiles hysterically*. This post is about friendships ~ the god damn toxic ones.
In my first ever blog post, I said that if I ever had to mention a name, I would replace it with something else – right? And I have never needed to do so. Well, today is going to be my first time doing that and it’s a tiny bit exciting for some reason because you get to look for lovely names (I am not saying their names aren’t lovely anyways BTW) to give them and then some rubbish ones for the horrible people. I am joking…
So I will call her Layla and… I don’t know – Eden?
Toxic friendships are THE WORST. And sometimes, people are terrified of getting out of them or they are afraid that they won’t have anyone if they do come out of it. I do know the feeling actually. But then I later realised that if everyone’s going to hate me because I stood up for myself, then they are just as toxic as the b**** that I dumped in the first place. But I don’t have to worry about that nonsense anymore because I am going to a completely different high school from everyone else. Before I carry on, I am really sorry if this post offends anyone that I know. These are just my opinions on, well, everything that’s gone on this past year.
Layla and Eden were supposedly ‘best friends from day one’. In my opinion, I don’t think that that is necessarily true but hey ho that’s not what this is about. Things have happened through out this year that weren’t the best. And you know how if someone murders somebody whilst you were with them, people would normally say you both murdered that person together even though that’s not exactly the truth? Well that’s what I discovered recently. With Layla and Eden obviously (no no, love. They did not murder anyone).
Thing is, the pair of them have done things in the past. Called me – and another girl – horrid and racist names, given us the finger… but when I sat down and thought about it, all of that wasn’t really Layla and Eden. It was just Layla. None of it was Eden. I don’t think Eden could ever do any of that. But this is just what happens – it’s just what she has been dragged into.
Everyday, I notice that Eden looks just a tad bit different than usual – but it seems like I am the only person who can tell. She just looks slightly lonely (even though she has this ‘best friend’ who doesn’t seem to be doing much at all with her). You know how best mates are meant to do everything together? Well, not in this case. Not Anymore at least.
Recently a lot, and I mean A LOT of peeps have noticed that Layla is always going on about how her and Eden are best friends and have the best memories and are sisters separated at birth and that sort of stuff but then she never actually hangs out with her literally at all ?? She rarely speaks to Eden in school at all anymore. I know that you can’t have someone all to yourself but come on – at least look at them!
Because Eden is going to a different high school from everybody too, on the last day, Layla grabbed Eden’s shoulders, shook her almost violently and shouted , “You had the chance to go to the same high school as me but instead you go on pick ****** (the school Eden is going to) over ****** (the school Layla and pretty much everyone else is going to)!” Eden went crimson. Honestly how self-centered can people like Layla be?? Eden picked this school because although they have the same Ofsted ranking (I think they only do that in the UK), it’s appearance is better than the school Layla and co. are going to.
So I thought I’d talk to Eden to let her know that she isn’t alone and she doesn’t need Layla that much anyway. But she just shrugged when I got started and said “we have only 4 days left in school anyway then I don’t have to deal with it anymore.” I smiled and walked away quitely. I literally couldn’t be more happier for Eden. I think she is pretty glad that she is going to a different school from everyone too for a fresh start. I can’t even bare to imagine if I hadn’t passed my 11+ plus and was stuck with my primary school mates for another 7 years *shivers*.
I am not going to go into too much detail so you might not quite understand how this friendship is toxic but you will have to just try and go with it, sorry😂
Does anyone else have one day of the year when they get to pick a couple activities to do for the day? I mentioned it in my first photography post just in case you are new here or you don’t remember. But yeah anyway – when our first activity was over, I went over to Eden (who did something math related – I’m not going to say what it was called) and asked her how her activity was because I had been doing DT. Basically she told me it was great and they did all sorts of maths related games and GCSE questions then when Layla and Eden were together and Jack (let’s go with that) asked them how it was, Eden was about to speak up when Layla quickly came in and said “Obviously Eden would have found it boring but I thought it was really fun.” Eden simply nodded at that. No speaking up for herself. No fighting back. Just simply obeying Layla silent command – right? “We did proper GCSE questions but I thought they were so easy…” Layla just carried on without acknowledging Eden’s slightly hurt reaction. I mean, if this isn’t a kind of toxic friendship then I don’t know what is. There are a lotttt of things I have observed in the past but let’s just leave them in the past where they belong.
Let me know in the comments any advice you have for Eden for the future and if you have ever been in a toxic relationship yourself. Also, if you’d like me to talk about your toxic friendship/relationship anonymously on my blog I’d love to! Sometimes, if you talk to someone, it can make it a whole lot easier for you to understand and get through. Maybe you are still in a toxic friendship/relationship and you feel like there is nobody to talk to? Well, I am forever online. You can always send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org whenever you’d like a little chat about whatever!
Ok bye for now!
MyGirlBlogger, forever online xxx